Monday, February 23, 2009

The Last Day

Today is the last day that I will be the mother of one child, that is, assuming I make it past midnight without giving birth. All signs point to this being the case, but for some reason I have learned to not make assumptions about Mother Nature.

While I am thrilled to bring this new baby to FULL term and end on the mark at 40 weeks, I am definitely finding myself feeling somewhat verklempt about not being 100% available for Miles. Actually, for the last 40 weeks Miles has been sharing me with his baby brother, but tomorrow will certainly put a new spin on this sharing thing.

I know that it is normal for new second time mothers to go through these emotions, and I know that once our new little guy is here, it will be a wonderful thing, but I feel sad right here and now to think that our little Miles will need to share his mommy.

However, I am so grateful that we have had the last two years and three months together as a family of three. I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom and care for little Miles as he grew from his tiny fragile state to the burgeoning little boy he is now. I know that nursing our premature son for 22 months was a gift to him with many rewards. Traveling to six different countries before his first birthday was a bonus for all of us that we never saw coming. Making Miles my priority has been not only my most challenging life task, but also given me the most joy. Of course, sharing this challenge and joy with my loving, gentle and supportive husband has been a gift all unto its own.

Tomorrow this challenging and wonderful journey will continue to the Power of Two. I'm holding on tight, for I know it will be quite a ride.....

1 comment:

Beth Clow said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers today as you extend your family of 3 to a family of 4. A sibling is a gift, on that Miles may not appreciate until he's an adult, but he will appreciate it. You have done a wonderful job Mama! Take care and let us all know when you're up for guests!! (or a mama's night out. ;-) )