Where do you go for a night on the town
When the baby just won't settle down?
Go where his cries seem quiet, not laut.
Go where they serve mountains of sauerkraut.
How can you make that cranky infant smile?
Go where they sell pretzels by the mile!
Go where the beer's too cheap to meter
Where the smallest mug's a full-on liter
When your baby just won't sit still
And crying's not your dining thrill 
Take him where he'll tap his feet
To the latest rockin' oompah beats
When you feel your head's about to burst
Take him where he can do his wurst
His smiling face may still draw stares
But let him squawk, no one cares!
When you find yourself with a roaring mouse
Bring that baby to the Hofbräuhaus!
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